ENTERTAINMENT MALAYSIA STYLE

Compared to Malaysia, Singapore is a dull and boring place. Those kiasu people only know how to make money. That’s why for fun they drop by JB or for holidays they zoom around our highways. After all kalau kena caught speeding why worry. If malaysians bayar RM 100 to compound the traffic offence, singaporeans pay only $45. Cheap what, some more they are the highest paid government servants in the world.

Talking about Singapore, that small island that once belongs to Malaysia, I don’t understand why malaysians and foreigners even, are going ga-ga over that Cina Beng country that successfully and legally steals Pulau Batu Putih from us. What do they actually have in terms of physical development. Do they have the tallest (once upon a time) building in the world like the Petronas Twin Towers. Even if they want to, where can they built the 3^rd longest bridge in the world. Linked it from mainland Singapore to Pedro Branca, the former Malaysian Pulau Batu Putih? You must be joking. You can at least put 2 Singapore into Pulau Pinang. Transportation systems .... ha!! They only have the MRT while we have PUTRA, STAR and the Monorail system transvassing our cities carrying ordinary ciizens to their destinations fast and efficiently. So for those who still thinks that Singapore is such a developed and wonderful place, think again. I know meh! I was brought up in Singapore remember. And worst still the Singapore government is a copycat goverment. If not, why are they following our lead in building their own casinos and staging their F1 race which we have been successfully doing so for years.

If Singapore is a dull place, the same cannot be said of my bumi country, Malaysia, where all Malays are filthy rich regardless of political affiliations or patronage and all Chinese are exceedingly poor while the Indians are marginalised in the estates. The price of petrol may be expensive for us malaysians compared to indonesians who only pay RM 2.38 sens for a litre of petrol but at least here in Malaysia, we have almost free entertainment if you just know where to look for it.

You, the Mrs and the kids wants to go to the circus? Why bother about The Great London Royal Circus. Just amble on to parliament house. It’s as good a circus as any in the world and during parlimentary seatings you can see the clowns performing, courtesy of UMNO. Want to read works of fiction but can’t afford the expensive paperbacks at MPH. Just read the local government sanctioned newpapers like Utusan Malaysia, Star, etc, and you are reading the best the world of fiction writing can offer. Sometimes back they even have a science fiction story section. Alahai! that Dr.Sheikh Muzaffar guy who goes into space, stays in a space station and then make some roti canai and the tarik experiments. Why worry, not government money only taxpayers money what.

If you are a fan of blood and gore, just travel along the malaysian highways and you’ll see a lot of broken bodies, blood and overturned or down the ravine buses, this time courtesy of PUSPAKOM vehicles inspectors. Ever heard of the Keystone Cops. It’s actually a fictional celluloid cops of the early 30’s or 40’s if I’m not mistaken, who are almost cartoonish in their efforts to maintain law and order. If you miss them, you don’t have to hunt high and low for old yellowish film copies. Just stay around anywhere in Malaysia and very soon you’ll bump into one. Last but not least if you can’t get enough of action thrillers with lots of explosion just tuned your mind to the Altantuya murder. Wah! Lau! they simply don’t kill the poor dear, they explode her. Singapore, where got something like that wan. Opps! almost forget. You are mushy over romance right. Malaysia also have. Have you forgotten the Siti and Datuk K love story.

Now tell me guys. Do Singapore have such entertainment. If they do, you have to pay through your nose to get in and witness it. In Malaysia, it’s free and easily available. Just think. How dull can it get if you visit a sex worker in Singapore and before you can unzip your pants, she starts producing her medical card to show you that she has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases during the last 6 months. Where’s the adventure and thrill in that. At least in Malaysia, you get to play Russian Roullette everytime you visit a prostitute. Maybe at this visit and this girl, you kena AIDS. Isn’t that adventure to the highest degree.

So, with all this fun, adventure, thrills, clown shows and a full time circus in town, who wants to be a Singaporean. Not me!

P/S. Any country out there wants to adopt me?