BUKAN SALAH GEREJA SALAH SENDIRI

Earlier I was thinking of penning my thoughts on the 8TV cheeky Ramadan advert about the bubbly chinese girl who goes around not properly dressed, hugging everybody at a Ramadhan Bazaar. But then I thought, what the heck for. Malaysians have lost their sense of humour. Everything is now China, Melayu, India, us versus them mentality. I wonder what my good chinese friend ASP Seow Seng Kee would say to the current petty sensitivity among the three major races of Malaysia. Too much politics, I guess.

We were just inspectors in the Special Branch, way back in the early 80’s. Whenever we meet in public, we would greet each other with curses. “Hoi! Cina, lu balik Tongsan lagi baik, bikin kacau ini negeri” and Seow would retort with a, “Oi! Melayu, ini negeri bukan lu satu orang punya tau”. After allowing the stares and the gasps from the bystanders to built up a little bit, we would hugged and pat each other’s back. Imagine doing that today. It would start a riot. Maybe we should hang up the current bunch of race based politicians to dry and wrinkle up.

My thoughts went to the Kampong Sungai Ruil, Cameroon Highlands, landslide that kills 7 orang asli villagers. That’s something to comment on. Reality sets in. This is Malaysia. The land of everything boleh. Where everything and anything goes. Where the impossible becomes possible. A Malaysia where you can no longer discern between facts, fiction and outright propaganda. So what is a landslide or two, when in this country, it is as common as snow in Europe. After all, those killed are common folks, orphans and religious students. Nobody of importance. So why bother to investigate if excessive developments and logging is the cause of it all.

I am going to let the recent JAIS raid of a church dinner where ten muslims attended it, passed. Both sides are at fault, the church and JAIS, QED. From 1967 to 1969, I was a committee member of the Singapore Chinese Young Men Christian Association. Attended and observed quite a few christian religious events including Sunday mass. Today, I am still a muslim and in my own way, doing the little that I can to make non muslims understand Islam better.

Faith is a personal matter. You can drag thousands of muslims into the syariah courts for being in a church. But if they want to become apostates, what can you do? Look at the many converts who became muslims because they want to marry muslims and not for the love of Allah. As soon as their marriages breaks up, they’re back to their old ways. Not all converts mind you but I personally knows a few.

The question to be asked is, what are the religious department and muslim organisations including IKIM and JAKIM doing to prevent muslims from attending, not only churches but also bars, nightclubs or whatever sin holes that are available in town. Enough of the preaching already because since young, I have been preached that if you do good, you go to heaven, if you do bad, you go to hell. That does not worked anymore.

I have seen and known far too much examples of non muslims converting to Islam, not because of marriage to a muslim or because of constant islamic preaching but because of the islamic action of a muslim. Looking at the attitude, behaviour and actions of some malaysian muslims, even those working in the religious departments, it is no wonder that muslims seeks the assistance of church officials and not the Islamic religious authorities. Think about it.

Until my next posting, regards from Uncle B, who’s always wondering, when are the malays going to stop blaming others for all the ills that beleaguered the malay race. Please malays, if you walk around stark naked, you are just asking to be raped, either dari depan atau dari belakang. Byeee!!!!!

HEART AND SOUL

Berapa ramai di antara kita yang mengambil masa untuk membaca ruangan-ruangan pojok di media cetak kita, terutama yang bukan media cetak cap kipas? Terselit di muka surat 3, StarBiz 1hb Ogos 2011, ialah ruangan “Monday Starters” oleh kolumnis Soo Ewe Jin, dengan judul “In sports, it’s just about money” – “Dalam sukan, ia hanya mengenai wang”. Kandungan kolum straightforward. Mengenai pasukan bolasepak wanita Jepun menjuarai World Cup Wanita mengatasi pasukan USA.

Yang penting dan sepatutnya dijadikan iktibar oleh ahli-ahli sukan kita dan juga politikus-politikus Malaysia, tak kira dari kumpulan BN, Roket, Bulan atau Mata Lebam ialah motivasi yang mendorong pasukan Jepun untuk menjadi juara dunia.

Sebelum masuk ke padang, pasukan USA telah dijanjikan dengan lebih USD 3 juta seorang dari segi kontrak, bonus dan sponsorship deals. Tidak jauh bezanya daripada apa yang berlaku di kalangan ahli sukan dan ahli politik negara kita. Masuk ke padang atau aktif dalam politik bukan kerana love of the game atau ikhlas untuk mensejahterakan rakyat tetapi kerana kedua-dua bidang, sukan dan politik, menjanjikan pulangan kewangan yang tinggi. Sebab itu kalau zaman 80an dulu, Korea, Jepun dan Singapura getar lutut berhadapan dengan dengan pasukan bolasepak negara, hari ini, pasukan negara-negara tersebut boleh mengalahkan Malaysia dengan bermain sebelah kaki sahaja.

Sama juga dengan ahli-ahli politik kita. Yang memotivasikan mereka bukan dorongan Self Actualization tetapi tahap terendah motivasi Maslow iaitu physiological needs seperti makan, minum tempat tinggal dan sex. Lantas yang dibincangkan oleh pemimpin politik kita ialah projek-projek yang belum tentu boleh dimenafaatkan oleh rakyat tetapi yang 100% dijamin boleh menguntungkan mereka yang mencadangkan dan dikurniakan projek-projek tersebut. Lantaklah kalau projek kaput atau bleeding the country dry kerana yang menanggungnya bukan menteri-menteri yang meluluskannya tetapi rakyat. Jika tidak, masakan kita ada projek perhabis duit rakyat seperti Ternakan Udang di Kerpan, Projek Ornamental Fish di Kelantan, PKFZ , Proton dan Projek Tuna Fishing di Langkawi, antara lainnya.

Berbeza dengan pasukan Jepun, mereka hanya mengharapkan sebiji jam tangan seorang jika menjadi juara. Menurut Norio Sasaki, pengurus pasukan Jepun, “It is not about money, it is about being on the pitch, being part of the world cup. We have not talked about money. But now we have reach the final, maybe a watch; yes, a watch would be nice thing” – “Ia bukan fasal wang. Ia mengenai berada di pandang pertandingan, menjadi sebahagian daripada Piala Dunia. Kami tidak pernah memikirkan fasal imbuhan kewangan. Tetapi sekarang apabila berjaya ke pusingan akhir, mungkin sebuah jam tangan: ya, sebuah jam tangan adalah sesuatu yang baik”

Nak meraung hiba saya mendengar kata-kata pengurus Jepun ini, sebuah negara yang jauh lebih maju dari Malaysia. Cuba bayangkan pemain bolasepak negara berkata, “Tak dapat tanah, wang ringit dan gelaran Dato” pun takpe, asalkan dapat masuk pusingan suku akhir World Cup, saya dah cukup gembira. Saya main bola bukan untuk cari makan, saya main bola kerana I love the game”.

Ataupun bayangkan menteri kita berkata, “Saya jadi Menteri bukan untuk jadi kaya. Saya telah mencapai keperluan physiological, safety, belonging dan esteem saya, sebelum saya masuk politik lagi. Jadi saya tak perlu rumah kerajaan bernilai 200 juta atau komisen daripada projek-projek yang menghanguskan duit rakyat tetapi mengenyangkan akaun bank saya. Rumah semi D yang saya beli dulu sebelum jadi wakil rakyat, pun dah memadai. Saya masuk politik bukan untuk buat duit tetapi untuk merencana dan melaksanakan kesejateraan rakyat yang saya pimpin”.

Bagi mengakhiri rencananya, penulis mengulas, “There are many things money cannot buy. And while some may disagree with me, I do believe that money cannot buy real success. For that, you really need heart and soul”. – “Banyak perkara yang tidak boleh dibeli dengan wang ringgit. Mungkin ada yang tidak bersetuju dengan saya tetapi saya percaya wang ringgit tidak boleh membeli kejayaan yang tulen dan abadi. Untuk kejayaan yang jitu, anda memerlukan jiwa dan raga anda”. Fikirkanlah kata-kata pengurus pasukan bolasepak wanita Jepun dan kolumnis Soo Ewe Jin tadi dan bandingkan dengan nawaitu ahli politik dan ahli sukan termasuk ahli PDRM kita. Adakah mereka, “believed in what they are doing” atau adakah mereka lakukan apa yang mereka lakukan kerana ada duit bawah meja. Renungkan.

Jumpa lagi dan betulkan cara berpuasa kita dari Uncle B, yang masih bertahan dengan isteri yang sama selama 31 tahun, walaupun dah montel sikit dan berumur sebab Uncle berumah tangga kerana “I believe in the institution of marriage ordained by Allah” dan bukan kerana Uncle dapat sex halal dan percuma. Byeee!!!!

WHEN MINISTERS JOKED

I never realised that our ministers can be comedians. The Star of 30^th July 2011, reported Najib Tun Razak as saying that, “The decision by the police (to release them) is based on their judgement and goodwill” . This is as a response to the Royal Malaysia Police (RMP) releasing Dr.Jeyakumar and 5 others from the Socialist Party of Malaysia (PSM) after 28 days of detention under the Emergency Ordinance 5/69 (EO) for alleged involvement in foreign aided and subversive activities against the state.

Delivered with a straight a face and the right comedic timing, Dato’ Seri Najib’s statement would have drawn howls and hoots of laughter from the floor at any company’s dinner show. Maybe our ministers should consider becoming part time comedians as some wives are just so expensive to maintain. Comedy pays. I know a comedian who commands RM 12,000 for a 45 minute show. Just 1 show a week, our PM could earn as much as RM 40,000 a month, telling jokes about his administration.

Any decent lawyer, not a loyar buruk, knows that the EO passed by Parliament on 16^th May 1969, was meant to suppress violent acts committed during the riots and later against violent triads and gangs activities detrimental to public peace and security (not state). For “alleged involvement in foreign aided and subversive activities against the state”, there is always the Internal Security Act.

Was the release of the 6 PSM members prompted by the Royal Malaysia Police sensible judgement and goodwill or was the arrest of the 6, an abuse of the various preventive laws available in this country. Unfortunately unlike yours truly, Najib has not spend 8 years in the Special Branch handling ISA cases and 10 years in the JSJ D7 Division dealing with the Emergency Ordinance 5/69, the Restricted Residence Act 1933 and the Prevention Of Crime Act 1959. I would like to believed that I know better, whether there has been occasions where the preventive laws has been wrongly applied. Otherwise our prime minister would not have made such a joke.

Another joker I would like to highlight, in case you’re looking for an entertainer for your company’s annual gathering, is the Minister for Natural Resources and Environment. The minister says that he was stunned by the statement of Selangor’s State Land & Mines Assistant Director, that anyone can walk in and out of a land office with a fraudulent land title in his hand (fraudster) within 30 minutes, that the land office did not have an infallible method to ensure that land titles are granted to rightful owners, that the land offices’ scanners are constantly offline and that the system is not linked with the National Registration Department. According to the Honourable Minister, “As far as I know, the systems are all in order. We have not received any complaints from other Land Offices elsewhere”.

Maybe the Minister should visit the Commercial Crime Investigation Department to find out how many land fraud cases the department is handling to date. After that, go and have a look at the RMP computer system especially the Police Reporting System to gauge it’s efficiency. For that matter, why not check the IT systems of the Immigration Department, Customs Department and the MACC as well. If my information is spot on, I believed the Immigration Department’s IT system accidently erased Altantunya record of entry into Malaysia and the Custom Department system was down for about 3 hours at just about the time of the USD 24 million ring hoo hah.

I am sure if our ministers really go down to the ground and talk to the coolies who are actually doing the work and not to the bosses who are more interested in looking good and apple polishing, they (ministers) will stop delivering hilarous one liners that are bound to make the prime minister of Singapore, Thailand and the president of Indonesia and Philipines, fall down from their official chairs and roll around on the floor in fits of hysterical laughter.

Enough said, from Uncle B, who now understands why some people says that our parliament is a circus. It is full of clowns. Byee!!

PUASA RITUAL

Hari isnin 1 Ogos 2011, orang melayu malaysia yang berugama Islam dan masih mengamalkan ajaran Islam akan berpuasa. Terkecuali wanita yang uzur dan lelaki yang berpenyakit gastrik. Setiap kali menghadap Ramadan, saya terfikir bagaimana confusednya pemimpin-pemimpin agama kita. Satu masa dahulu permulaan Ramadan dan Syawal ditentukan dengan melihat anak bulan. Kemudian kita tukar. Pakai kiraan, tiada lagi main teropong-teropong dekat Teluk Kemang, Negeri Sembilan. Itu pun haru biru sebab ada negeri di Malaya yang pakai anak bulan, ada yang pakai mathematics, sampaikan satu masa itu orang Perak dengan orang Singapura raya dulu dari rakyat negeri-negeri lain Tanah Melayu.

Sekarang lagi celaru. Main depan belakang. Anak bulan dipakai, kira-kira pun pakai. Kalau ilmu hisab kata esok raya tapi anak bulan tidak kelihatan, esok harinya raya juga. Kalau ilmu kira-kira kata anak bulan tidak kelihatan tapi bila teropong nampak, esoknya tetap puasa. Macam mana saya tak kata ulama Islam Malaysia kita, kumpulan pakar yang confused lagi mengkelabukan Inilah padahnya kalau Islam diasingkan dari dunia. Sepatutnya Islam mengatur urusan dunia. Ini tidak. Dunia mengatur amalan Islam. Eloklah tu. Kalau tidak masakan hanya Malaysia yang boleh cipta Islam Hadhari.

Sempena Ramadan ini, saje nak ingatkan kawan-kawan seagama yang masih waras, terutama yang namanya Melayu. Puasa bukan bermakna siangnya berlapar dahaga tetapi bila berbuka puasa mencekik mentekedarah macam orang tak makan 3 hari. Begitu juga dengan sambutan Aidil Fitri. Ada kitab ke yang kata kalau nak sambut hari raya, mesti beli baju baru, buat kuih berbalang-balang, furnishing rumah kena ganti baru dan buat rumah terbuka gah-gah.

Hari ini amalan puasa dan sambutan Aidil Fitri dah terlalu commercialised. Yang diutamakan ritualnya atau lahiriah bukan pengisian atau batinnya. Kalau tidak masakan masih banyak mak bapak yang enggan mengajar anak bahawa Shawal bukan bermakna bertandang ke rumah complete strangers untuk collect duit raya, sampaikan ada yang sanggup berdiri depan gate rumah orang minta duit raya. Ini siapa yang ajar kalau bukan orang dewasa, sampaikan polis pun pandai kecek duit raya dari tauke halal maupun haram. Mujurlah tak semua polis macam tu.

Apakata tahun ini kita buat satu anjakan paradigma. Kita berbuka puasa macam biasa aje. Dengan lauk pauk yang biasa kita masak pada hari bukan Ramadan. Kalau ada tambahan pun, tak lebih 2 jenis kueh dan tamar. Hari raya, kalau nak buat kueh pun memadai kalau balang kuih boleh dikira dengan jari tangan sahaja, jangan sampai kena kira pakai jari kaki. Tu yang lepas raya, melopong aje, habis anak bini kena jerkah, sebab poket kering. Saya??? sejak dulu lagi dah belajar berbuka puasa dan sambut Aidil Fitri cara sederhana. Amacam?

Hingga jumpa lagi, satu pesanan ikhlas dari Uncle B, bagi pasangan yang baru kahwin. Jangan berdua-duan di siang hari dik, nanti kena bagi 60 orang fakir miskin makan bagi setiap hari berbuka sebelum maghrib dengan apam. Byeee!!!!

TAS TANGAN KULIT BABI

Pepatah Inggeris mengatakan anda tidak boleh membuat tas tangan sutera daripada kulit babi. Bagi Suruhanjaya Pencegahan Rasuah Malaysia (MACC) ianya tepat sekali. Bagaimana mahu diyakini MACC sebuah organisasi yang berintegriti kalau pegawai-pegawai kanannya sendiri dari kategori pembohong dan tidak mempunyai integriti diri.

Saya petik berita dengan tajuk “Officers Lied In The Spirit Of Brotherhood”, yang semacam disorokkan di mukasurat 6, akhbar The Star 22 July 2011.

“.... Hishamuddin Hashim, a very senior officer, who was overall in charge of operations on the evening of July 15, 2009, until the early hours the next day. In the testimony before us, he was adamant that he had no knowledge whatsoever that complaints of assault and use of force had been lodged against officers under his charge. However, his lie was exposed when DSP Kamaruddin Ismail from the Selangor Police produced a letter written by Hishamuddin himself in 2008 responding to police enquiries on the complaints of assault and related abuse of power that had been lodged against MACC officers under his command”.

“It added that two courageous officers had testified that they were asked to lie that Hishamuddin was not directly involved in the operations”.

“The report said the characteristics of this “blue wall of silence came amply into play by the untruths spouted by the MACC officers to cover up the nefarious activities that took place on the 15^th and 16^th of July 2009”.

Bagi yang kurang arif dengan Bahasa Inggeris, izinkan saya membantu seberapa yang boleh. Apa yang cuba disampaikan oleh Laporan RCI tersebut ialah:

1. Hishamuddin Hashim, seorang pegawai kanan MACC telah berbohong semasa memberi keterangan dalam prosiding RCI tersebut.

2. Dua orang pegawai MACC telah disuruh berbohong dalam prosiding RCI yang dijalankan.

3. Pegawai-pegawai MACC telah berbohong semasa memberi keterangan dalam prosiding RCI untuk menutup aktiviti jahat yang berlaku pada 15hb dan 16hb Julai 2011.

Membaca sedutan kecil Laporan RCI seperti disiarkan oleh The Star tadi, hanya menguatkan kepercayaan saya selama ini bahawa kebanyakkan pegawai MACC, sombong, bongkak, angkuh dan pembohong, mengalahkan pegawai-pegawai PDRM. Ringkasnya, MACC sebuah organisasi yang TIDAK BERINTEGRITI.

Kepada keluarga mendiang Teoh Beng Hock, jangan berharap kepada keadilan dari sistem pentadbiran Malaysia, biar Allah yang membalas mereka yang bertanngungjawab ke atas trajedi tersebut. Let him go in peace.

Akhir kata dari Uncle B, apa kata kita belasah pegawai-pegawai MACC yang bercakap bohong tadi sampai mereka reti bercakap benar atau sehingga tak tahan, mereka sendiri akan terjun tingkap.

Dan apa kata, kalau kita bakar aje poster-poster gergasi MACC yang menyemakkan mata, yang menyeru kita supaya Berintegriti pada hal mereka sendiri tidak tahu makna Integriti dan tidak Berintegriti seperti yang telah disahkan oleh Suruhanjaya Diraja Siasatan Teoh Beng Hock.

Bye!!!!!