Wednesday, 23 March 2011


On Tuesday evening, 22 March 2011, as I was walking from the Manhattan Fish Market at Midvalley, towards my car, I saw her. Late twenties, a shapely body and a sweet face. Not exactly a Miss Malaysia semi-finalist but none the less a sweet young thing. I am a sucker for a sweet face and at my age, any woman below the age of 35 is most certainly young by my reckonings. She was standing by a kiosk looking at some costume jewellery. Then she moved, walks away from the kiosk, in my direction.

In a split second, my basic male itchiness when ogling a pretty face, makes a dead stop. In the same instance, I became a man of God, I was telling myself. Allah s.w.t. is fair and all knowing. He created beauty, sugar & spice, woman, and everything nice and He also created things that are not so nice, like the male ego. Whatever He does, Allah knoweth what is good and what is bad for us, His creations. She walks with a limp.

Allah s.w.t. in His Infinite Wisdom has given my SYT, a slight clubbed left foot. Realising that I was looking at her, she sort of became conscious of her limp and shows a kind of inferiority complex feelings on her face. A pity, since she is really sweet and I don’t care a hoot about her clubbed foot because to me, physical perfection is only skin (plus tons of make up) deep. I would have started a conversation with her but she choose to ignore me. A shy man that I am, I did not make the first move. It’s our loss (hers and mine) cause we could be the face of 1Malaysia, 1 Cina dan 1 Melayu, if only she would have stopped and asked for my phone number. Nah!!! just my male ego talking.

On my drive home, I could not stopped thinking about my SYT with a limp. Would guys give this woman a second look if they saw her limping before they scrutinised her looks. What do men see when they looked at a woman. The woman inside or the curves outside. When guys eyes a woman, are they thinking of bed or are they thinking of discussing quantum mechanics with her. Would Bung Mokhtar, the BN parliamentarian, marries Zizie the rising malay starlet, if she is tempang. Would Dato’ K marries Siti Nurhaliza if she is a stuttering cleaning lady.

Who makes the better wife. The brainy or the bodilicious one. The woman with all the right temperament and attitude or the woman who always wants it. Or maybe an all in one woman. An MIT graduate who teaches bible class every Sunday, whom your mum and dad love more than they do you, gropes and strips you whenever the opportunity arises and all this comes in a bodilicious package that makes you the envy of all the husbands in your neighbourhood. Anyway don’t hold your horses waiting for such a woman unless you’re a gambler because finding one is just like hitting TOTO’s multi million ringgit jackpot. I did not hit the jackpot, only the Ipoh Big Sweep Lottery. Ok what!!

Those were the questions that races through my mind that evening as I rushed home to my wife, granddaughter and daughter. I have yet to find the answers and is still looking for them. Not that I am thinking of adding another wedding certificate to my collection as it is not fair for me to treat my wife of 31 years that way. What sort of love do you have for a woman, if, when she is old and saggy, you dumped her for a newer model. Ladies, with men like that, you don’t need a husband. Once I find the answers, I am going to preach my findings to young men who’s itching to get hitch and unknowingly pays the price.

As for my marriage, it’s ok what. In a time when marriages that lasted 15 years is too good to be believed, then mine which is going through its 31st year now, must be a miracle. I might be 58 and my mrs 51 but we still enjoy a good romp in the sack every other day if the weather permits and my granddaughter sleeps in her bed and not in between my wife and me. My mother and late father adores her (my wife) and she still asked how high if I order her to jump. Heck, man, what more can a guy wants. Enough said.

Until we meet again, have a good marriage, from Uncle B, who takes his own sweet unhurried time to study & investigate every women that he meets and looks beyond the bedroom before saying I do.

In parting, a word of advice from Uncle B. Better to have many lovers than marry the wrong woman.


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